As parents, you want your autistic child to grow up feeling confident, valued and loved for who they are. Encouraging self-love in your kiddo is one way to help do this and it’s something you can work to foster every day. Here are some simple, practical ways to help your child embrace their unique self:

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1. Celebrate Their Strengths

Every child has things that make them special. Whether it’s their incredible memory, unique sense of humor, or creative way of looking at the world, point out and celebrate those strengths. Regularly affirming what makes your child shine helps build their confidence and self-worth.

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Recognizing and celebrating a child's strengths fosters a positive self-image and encourages them to embrace their individuality. According to the Child Mind Institute, helping children understand their strengths and recognizing their efforts can significantly boost their self-esteem.

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Examples

• “I love how you always notice the little details no one else sees. It’s such an amazing talent!”
• “Wow, you remember every detail about that trip we took. Your memory is like a superpower!”
• "You have such a kind heart. The way you helped your sibling today was so thoughtful!"

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2. Model Self-Love

Children learn a lot from watching their parents and caregivers. Practice showing them what self-love looks like by speaking kindly about yourself and acknowledging your own strengths. This not only sets an example but also creates an environment where loving oneself feels natural.

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While it may be easier said than done, taking time for your own self-care is important for your kiddo as well. Parental self-love and self-care have a strong influence on a child’s emotions, according to an article by the Parenting Research Centre. Parents who are kind to themselves and take time to recharge not only find it easier to support their children's emotional well-being but also show their children how to take the time to love themselves.

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3. Encourage Their Passions

Does your kiddo light up at the thought of trains, animals, or drawing? Lean into those interests! Encouraging your child to pursue what they love helps them feel seen and valued for who they are. Explore the many free resources that exist to help your child further explore their interests. Activities, like cooking or crafting, and topics, like space or dinosaurs, can be found online or in the community around you. 

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Studies have also shown that engaging in special interests can reduce anxiety and improve focus in autistic individuals. Leaning into interests can also lead your child to finding community and building self-esteem. According to Prosper Health, bonding with others over central interests leads to fulfilling social connections and increased self-esteem. Not only that but encouraging their passions can help them one day find careers they are interested in. 

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4. Create a Safe Space for Emotions

Feeling and expressing emotions is a big part of self-love. Let your child know it’s okay to have tough days and reassure them that all feelings are valid. Teach them simple ways to cope, like deep breathing or using sensory tools when they’re feeling overwhelmed.

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Teaching self-regulation skills, such as breaking challenging situations into smaller steps and validating feelings, helps children manage emotions effectively. ABA therapy provides autistic children with these strategies that are crucial for their development and aid in managing emotions and behaviors in various situations. Understanding and managing emotions improves emotional well-being and builds confidence in autistic children.

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5. Surround Them with Positive Role Models

Representation matters! Share books, videos, and stories about other autistic individuals who embrace their identity and thrive in different ways. Seeing others like them can help your child feel proud of who they are.

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Picture books with autistic characters:

• "All My Stripes: A Story for Children with Autism" by Shaina Rudolph and Danielle Royer
• "A Friend for Henry" by Jenn Bailey
• "Since We’re Friends: An Autism Picture Book" by Celeste Shally
• "Benji, the Bad Day, and Me" by Sally J. Pla

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6. Practice Daily Affirmations

Simple affirmations like “You are loved,” “You are smart,” and “You are capable” can go a long way. Consider making these part of your daily routine, whether it’s at bedtime or during morning cuddles.

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Positive affirmations can help reinforce a positive self-image of themselves. Positive affirmations help children develop stronger self-esteem and believe in what they can achieve. By consistently highlighting their strengths, you're helping them build a solid foundation of self-worth.

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Check out these affirmations your kiddo can practice in front of the mirror every day!

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Promoting self-love in your autistic child is an ongoing journey, but every step makes a difference. Celebrate their uniqueness, meet them where they are, and watch them grow into their most confident selves!