Where your attention goes, energy flows.

Think about that. What gathers up your attention is truly where you will be putting all or most of your energy.

As parents, we find ourselves sometimes completely wrapped up in the behavior and activities of our children. And sometimes, this can cause us to lose track of how our energy might begin to get wrapped up in that behavior, and even become a part of it.

We can unwittingly be supporting the very behavior we are striving to curtail or change.

We become a part of the barrier to our children making different choices and finding better ways to cope with or address whatever they are being faced with.

So what can we do to somehow change our own response or involvement in the behavior?

To understand what is happening, you first have to find a way to take a step back and just observe what is happening.

Observation is the very first part of any plan for change.

Becoming that person who is looking into what is happening versus being a part of it gives you a whole new perspective, doesn’t it?

Remember the ABC’s of Behavior? Well observation is another important part of the process. It’s what you do when you realize that something has to change about what is happening. But the challenge will be taking the time and having the energy to remove yourself long enough to really observe.

And the key is, the main thing you want to observe is yourself. 

How are you feeling? Are you tired, stressed or feeling down? Are you holding your breath or are you breathing? Where is your focus? Is it on what you are afraid of happening or what you want to happen? This can all take place in a matter of seconds. Just a moment to observe, and then perhaps decide what to change or adjust to find a better outcome.

Making a correction that will lead to change is always hard, and no one is ever going to do it perfectly every time. But just starting with making an observation, and noting it, can help you to turn it into a habit.